Through You: Chapter 30
CLAUDIA
“I want to be alone.”
His request doesn’t surprise me in the least. This is Artemis’s reaction whenever he’s going through something that’s emotionally heavy.
He reacted in a similar way the day he found his mother with another man, making the exact same request after I tended to his injuries.
Leave me alone.
I guess some things don’t change. Part of me wants to stay with him, hug him and whisper positive words of encouragement in his ear. But I know him better than that. He needs time alone to process everything that just happened, including what he divulged to his mother and the rest of his family.
I’m confident he’ll come to me once he processes everything, just like he did a long time ago. This time won’t be different. Still,
I owe him the chance to reconsider in case he’s changed over the years that have passed.
We’re in his father’s study, so I sit next to him on the couch.
“Artemis.”
“No.” He shakes his head and avoids looking at me.
And that’s my answer. He needs to spend this time by himself, which doesn’t bother me. I, too, have had moments in my life when I needed to be left alone in silence to assess things.
“Okay,” I reply, standing up. “I’ll be in my room.” He knows he can come to me when he’s ready to talk.
“I’m leaving for work in a few minutes,” he informs me. “I’ll see you later this evening.”
The coldness in his tone doesn’t surprise me, but it also doesn’t please me. His cold-as-stone defensive walls tend to go up when he feels vulnerable. I don’t believe he’s aware he does this; it just comes naturally to him. I refrain from saying another word and walk over to the door, taking a quick glance over my shoulder. He remains seated, in his impeccable suit, with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands massaging his face.
The expression he wears is a mixture of pain and rigidness. I briefly reconsider whether I should turn back and hug him, but decide to respect his wishes. After I leave the study, I run into Apolo in the living room. He’s sitting on a sofa, in the same posture as his brother. He’s even rubbing his face with his hands. I guess they’re related after all. It breaks my heart to see his eyes red and the sadness on his face. He looks at me but doesn’t say anything. I let out a sigh and sit next to him. He immediately reacts by turning to hug me.
“I had no idea,” he whispers against my neck. “I didn’t know the truth, I . . .”
We pull apart, and I notice the color of his eyes has been intensified by recently shed tears.
“What are you talking about?”
He twists his lips before licking them in attempt to suppress the urge to cry. “I didn’t know he had suffered so much.”
I understand he’s speaking about Artemis.
“Apolo.”
“No. I always thought he was a coldhearted idiot because he wanted complete control over my father’s company. I just assumed—” He looks away. “I didn’t know about the pain my own brother suffered, Claudia.”
I open my mouth to say something, but he continues.
“What kind of brother am I? He’s lived with this bottled-up frustration, backed my father one hundred percent, and helped him get back on his feet. And what do I do? I judge him.”
“Apolo.” I take his face in my hands. “You haven’t done anything wrong. Please don’t blame yourself for anything that’s happened. This entire situation is extremely messed up and yes, it has hurt your brother in so many ways. But it’s not your fault. The blame lies with other people and their terrible decisions,” I say, thinking about his mother. “And you are not responsible, now or ever, for the outcomes.”
“Do you think he holds a grudge against me?”
“On the contrary, I think he loves you guys so much, and you’ve been his greatest motivation to carry the weight of the promise he made to your father. He didn’t want you or Ares to be burdened with the responsibility.”
“Who told that idiot he had to sacrifice himself for us?” he asks, and I let go of his face. Apolo wipes away his tears.
“I don’t know,” I joke, trying to lighten the somber mood.
“He really fooled us all with his iceberg act when in reality he’s too kind, almost bordering on foolish.”
This makes Apolo smile. His cute little face, reddened from crying, lights up.
“He hasn’t fooled us all.” Apolo keeps smiling. “He hasn’t fooled you. Is that why you fell in love with him?”
“Me, in love? With that iceberg?”
“I guess I understand now.” He runs his hands through his hair. “I used to think you were crazy because you liked him, when all along, you were the only person who could see through him.”
I stay quiet. His words register in my head because I know that what he’s saying is the truth. As children, I noticed how differently Artemis would act around me from how he was with everyone else. Even before what happened with his mother, he was always reserved and unsociable. So I was always surprised by how differently he would behave in my company. Maybe his gentle and protective side switched on when I, a street child, came to live at his house. I still remember the day he found out about my nightmares and sleepwalking.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.
It was my second week living at the Hidalgo house when I experienced my first nightmare and walked in my sleep. I was trembling and barefoot, standing in the middle of the kitchen with tears rolling nonstop down my cheeks.
I was trying to leave the house but was stopped and woken up by Artemis, who had come down to the kitchen for a glass of milk.
He was standing in front of me, the strands of his hair pointing in all directions—messy evidence he’d just woken up. His puffy eyes gave him away. He was wearing blue onesie pajamas with a zipper down the middle. Artemis stared at me, looking as confused as I was about what had just happened. We were small, naive children who didn’t know a thing about sleepwalking or night terrors. Yet, for whatever reason, he knew I needed him, and flashed me a huge smile.
“Don’t cry.” He took a step closer. “You’re safe now.”
He didn’t know how much those words meant to me. As a child, it was difficult to feel safe and secure from the bad men who were after my mom, the ones who would threaten or beat me up when they couldn’t find her. I wiped my tears quickly. Artemis grabbed the hood of his onesie and tugged it down until it fit snug around his head, showing two tiny cat ears on top.
“I’ll protect you,” he promised. “I’m Supercat.”
That made me smile because it was something I didn’t expect from him. During those days at the house, I had noticed he was often alone and would seldom interact with the people around him. This smiley and cheerful version of him was new to me.
Maybe he instinctively knew that it was exactly what I needed.
“Supercat?” I sniffed.
He nodded.
“Yes. And I’ll protect you, so don’t cry anymore. Okay?”
“I don’t want to close my eyes again. I’m scared.”
“Do you want me to read you a story?”
I nodded, feeling shy. Anything was better than going back to sleep and having awful dreams. We went to the living room and sat on the couch. Artemis turned on a lamp and brought down blankets and pillows from a hallway closet. Once we had wrapped ourselves in the blankets, Artemis sat next to me and proceeded to read. He sounded lively and completely involved with the story.
He even made up different voices for every character. I couldn’t help but forget about the nightmares.
And I fell asleep right there, with my head on his shoulder.
He was always there to help me deal with my nightmares. My very own superhero, my Supercat.
I’m overcome with nostalgia and a sense of gratitude that takes my breath away. I firmly believe the support Artemis showed me back when we were just a couple of kids has played a crucial part in my life. And I feel a great need to give some of it back to him. I give Apolo another hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“You’re an amazing guy, okay?”
He nods. I get up and go back to the study. Artemis doesn’t look up when I come in and close the door behind me. I take one of the chairs from against the wall and place it in front of him. I sit facing him, then place my hands over his and pull them down from his face. His expression still looks wounded, and I can’t help but notice how handsome he looks despite his current state.
“Claudia, I told you that—”
“Hush,” I interrupt him.
“What are you doing?”
My mind goes back to all those moments when he did the very same thing for me.
“Creating a space.”
His eyes open slightly.
“This is your space, Artemis.”
He doesn’t say anything, so I carry on.
“If you want me to keep quiet and just hold your hand, I’ll do that. If you want to tell me everything and talk about it, you can do that too. But I’m here for you, just like you’ve been here for me so many times before. You need to stop thinking that you have to deal with problems on your own. And that you and only you can carry the burden.” I give his hand a squeeze. “I’m here for you.”
He lets out a long breath, as if he was weighed down by something really heavy.
“I . . . never felt I had any permission to—” He stares at our intertwined hands. “To feel awful, and express my emotions.
Don’t ask me why. I don’t really know. Maybe silence is the easier way out when you’d rather not hurt the people you love.”
“It’s not the best approach when some of those people are the ones hurting you.”
“Yeah, but she’s my mother, Claudia,” he tells me with a sad smile. “I would like to say that I hate her because, as we both know, she’s not a good person. But I can’t. Even now, after saying all those things to her in the kitchen, all of which I know are true, I feel terrible for hurting her because I still love her very much.”
“And that’s okay, Artemis. You have a noble soul, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But you can’t keep everything to yourself forever. It’s not healthy for you. Remember that this is your space—you share anything you want and I’ll never bring it up ever again. We’ll just pretend that it never happened. What are you feeling now, Artemis?”
And this question is the one that finally knocks down the walls guarding that place inside him where he keeps his emotions locked up. His eyes get wet, and he breathes deeply.
“I’m so tired, Claudia.” His lips tremble. “I spent five years studying something that didn’t interest me. I got up, went to class, and got good grades so I could assume the huge responsibility of running the company.” He pauses, and his hands squeeze mine tightly. “You can’t begin to imagine how incredibly difficult it is to wake up every day so I can work at a job I never wanted. I’m frustrated! And then I immediately feel terrible for thinking this way because my father needs me, and I don’t want to regret the decisions I’ve made because he’s my father and I love him.”
“I get that you love him, but what about you? Your love for him shouldn’t cancel out your feelings.”
“I do it subconsciously. I always prioritize the people I love.”
“If you can’t prioritize yourself, then I will make you a priority of mine. Your well-being is the most important thing to me.
It’s enough, Artemis. Your father has already released you from many company obligations and responsibilities. You only have to train the person who’ll replace you so you can finally be free,” I tell him with a smile. “You can do whatever the hell you want, and I’ll be there to make sure it happens. Okay?”
Artemis lets go of my hands and caresses my cheek. His eyes meet mine. He slowly moves in and kisses me tenderly.
It’s a slow, gentle kiss loaded with emotion. I feel like my heart is stuck in my throat. I squeeze his hands, resting on my lap.
His soft scruff brushes against my skin while his lips softly graze mine. He rests his forehead against mine when we break away. I slowly open my eyes and get lost in the intensity of his gaze. His voice is barely a whisper.
“For me, it’s always been you.” His words warm my heart.
“Claudia, I love you.”
And there, in his space, Artemis Hidalgo takes my breath away.