Chapter 35 There’s no going back
The eyes of the man and I met for a few seconds before I smiled which ended in laughter. The man also laughed and then opened his arms for me. Without warning, I went into his arms and hugged him.
“What are you doing here, big guy?” I asked him with a strange enthusiasm in my eyes after I kissed him on the cheek.
“I had just a business transaction in the building. I heard you went to Monte Vega but you didn’t stop by my office. How rude of you. I waited for nothing.”
He returned to sitting and clasped his hands on his knees. I also sat down in the opposite seat while looking for something to answer.
“You know I can’t go to you.
My husband will wonder. He might get suspicious of me. Unfortunately, he’s… he’s been tailing me so I need to be extra careful.”
His face darkened, leaned back, and stared at me intently.
“You know you don’t have to do this, Karina. I can always do what you wanted from the very start. Baby, come back to me already. I don’t want you to endanger yourself more.”
I felt like melting with his words. He is such a cruel figure in the clan that hearing these words from him no matter how often is still unusual. He is cold as ice and as ruthless as our head that everyone in the family will bow down to him even if it’s against their will.
“We’ve talked about it. You said yes, remember? You know that I needed this to end my grief.”
“I know I know but still, you can’t prevent me from worrying. We both know very well that it will not just end after you take your revenge on them. This is deeper than you thought it is. I don’t want you to go back to that dark past.”
I was stunned by what he said. He meant the dark days of my past, the endless months I spent in the institution. It was definitely not nice, even sinister on my part but it was needed.
“I promise I won’t be back in that era. I’m healed now. I can handle myself better now. There are few instances where I couldn’t help but respond to triggers but other than that, I’m good.”
“You what?! You didn’t tell me about this! Pack your things now Karina. I will take you home.”
I was alarmed by what he wanted to happen so I stood up and moved next to him. I grabbed my brother’s hand and looked at him seriously.
“Zen, I needed this. You know why. For years, I’ve suffered with the memories. For years I’ve questioned myself and my worth. You have been by my side throughout so you know how I’ve suffered. I needed this so much. Please. Just this once. Let me handle this all by myself.”Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
He sighed and pulled me into his arms. I closed my eyes and hugged him back. I missed this man so much. Ever since that accident, he’s been there for me all day and all night. He was with me in every nightmare, grief, and he helped me to finally stand up with my own two feet.
He made me who I am now and I’ll be forever indebted to him. He came at times when I had given up. He lifted me off the rubble that I am in and gave me his love. He despised all the objections of the clan for me.
I cannot be more thankful to any person in this world other than to him, my savior and my brother.
“Last chance. I’ll give you this. Don’t make the mistake of giving your husband another chance because I don’t know what I can do with him. He is on the side of our enemy, remember that.”
I simply nodded.
“Thank you. I’ll go home after I’m done here. That’s a promise.”
“That I will look forward to.”
He stood with me and caressed my cheek.
“I better go.”
“Let’s go. I’m done here.”
I reached for his arm and we went out the door together. Celeste bowed her head to my brother and positioned on my back. The other five men in their black suits also followed behind us.
“You said you had a business here. Can I ask what are you doing inside the liar’s den?”
“The same thing can be asked of you. I was surprised to see Celeste outside. Now what we’re you doing here?”
“Hey, I’m Gastrell and my husband owns a property here. It’s only natural for me to visit our assets.”
He snorted.
“Your husband is a fucking spineless man who cannot man up to his responsibility. He may be a good businessman but he is no better than the Asturias. Do not ever go back to him I’m telling you. I’ll hide you from the world so he can’t find you.”
I chuckled while we were stepping inside the elevator.
“Don’t worry. Not a cha-”
Just as the door of the elevator we’re in is about to close, I caught Cholo’s death stare on the other side of the hallway’s elevator which just opened. He’s looking at my hand in my brother’s arm. I could only swallow as the doors completely shut in between us. I was shocked to see him like that as if he’s ready to murder anyone.
“You better be. I’ll move heaven and earth just to kill the man if he hurt you again. You’ve been through so much Karina because of him. You came back not for him. Always guard your heart. It will only lead you to destruction.”
I don’t have the voice to answer. My mind was left on my husband’s lethal eyes as he glared at where my hand is situated. It’s the first time I saw him like that as if he’s ready to run berserk.
Even when my brother said goodbye because he was going to continue his meeting, my brain was still left on my husband’s face. I couldn’t even ask who he was talking to. My memory is still recklessly taking a mile run back to his glaring eyes. Even when we were in the parking lot, I still couldn’t help but think back to his face earlier.
Would it be weird if I’m feeling butterflies in my stomach while remembering how he’s sending daggers through his eyes? That would sound like a rotten emotion from cliche novels and movies but that’s exactly what I’m feeling now. I’m nervous and happy at the same time.
“Miss Karina, I think we have company,” Celeste interrupted the smile on my face.
“Oh? Who?” I asked her after leaving the building. My Bugatti is just parked outside.
“Your husband, Ms. Karina.”
I turned around as fast as lightning. And true to her words, Cholo is coming at me in long strides while uncuffing the sleeves of his white dress shirt. His eyes ablaze, the obvious flare of grim on his face.
I couldn’t help but stare at my husband. It’s like I was nineteen again, watching in awe as he effortlessly sported those smiles while talking to his friend in a car.
“Hey,” I still remembered faintly saying before he caught my waist and kissed me in the broad daylight.
It’s not just a smack or a simple kiss. It was a wild wet kiss that devoured my senses. He stuck his tongue right in and what’s even horrible is I just opened my mouth and welcomed him like we’re the only people in the confines of our room and not here outside an establishment with many people around who must have been shaking their heads in disbelief.
“Wife,” called the hoarse and breathy voice after that abrupt claiming of my soul.
“W-What was that for?” I asked, my eyes closed and still in trance with what he did.
“It’s an open-mouthed kiss. It’s to brand you that you are mine and only mine alone. It’s to warn away other men not to offer their arms to you because mine should only be the one to hold you.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his seriousness. I opened my eyes and met his stinging eyes.
“Your jealousy… I find it unfounded and… cute.”
I looked around to see people watching our way. I was a little embarrassed. It seems that they have witnessed what happened a while ago. That’s when I pushed him a little. What a scene to make in this busy lane.
“… and embarrassing,” I finished my sentence.
I pushed him away again but he just moved closer to me.
“My wife is coming with me,” he said while looking at Celeste who was blushing.
My secretary just nodded while hiding her face in the pile of the folders and envelopes in her arms. Cholo looked at me and pulled me to his car. I just followed because even though I was overconfident like hell, I was also growing a bit shy.
“What was that for?” I asked when we were on the way. He drives the car while his bodyguards follow behind.
“Do I need to kiss you again to answer your question? Who’s that man?” May kalakip na talim sa boses nito.
“He’s someone I’m planning on eloping with after I’m done making you fall for me. He’s the only one I’ll go with after I’m tired of you. He’s handsomer, wealthier, and very willing to give me his everything.”
The car suddenly stopped and I just can’t help but gasped when Cholo imprisoned me in his hands and kissed me savagely. His lips were crushing on mine while his teeth were nibbling at my lower lip. I tried responding but his movement was too fast and rude for me to chase.
“I didn’t like everything you said,” he said in a guttural voice.
“Who said I’m allowing you to leave me for the second time? You came back for me so you will spend the rest of your life with me, Karina. I ain’t taking no for an answer. You started it. I’m more than obliged to make sure you’ll end up with me. Got that? Hmm?”
He thumbed my lips and let go of me to get back behind the wheels again.
I was literally speechless for a minute. Screw this man for being so unpredictable! I thought he’s still playing with me and just finding the time to trap me but hearing this from him with all the sincerity in his eyes is keeping me thinking hard about what his intentions really are.
“Do you know the guy? Did he get your name, your number? Did you tell him you’re married and showed him your ring?”
“No, of course not! Why would I tell that to my possible prospect?”
He narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head.
“You only wanted to be kissed over and over again. Well guess what? Your wish is my command.”
He was about to stop the car again so I slapped him and laughed. I rolled my eyes at him.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I told him to fuck off. Is that enough? And what are you doing there by the way? Did you come there because of Elizabeth?”
“That’s my girl. Please do that to every man who will come your way,” he said and calmly looked at the road.
“I’m there for a meeting which I just canceled because I saw my wife holding a man’s arm.”
I slumped in the seat and crossed my legs.
“You know I didn’t mean that. It was just a joke! I… I was just holding him for support because I’m afraid my shoes would give way. Don’t overreact. Do you really think I could look at another man while I’m crazily running after you? You’re dumb. Thank god you’re handsome and rich.”
He glanced at my feet with a smiling eyes then back to my face and then to the road again.
“Oh I’m sorry, wife, but I mean all of what I’ve said. You will stay with me forever.” He put his hand on my thigh and squeezed it. “It’s your fault. You worked hard to get my attention back. Now that you’ve earned it then you must enjoy it at all costs.”
My smile disappeared. I wasn’t just aiming for attention. I want his heart, his soul, whatever that Elizabeth has on him.
“You really won’t let me go even if I say it’s all just a prank? That I was just fooling around cause I’m getting bored? That one day I thought about going back to my hometown to see my first love. What if I messed up his life just a little bit just like how he messed up mine? What if I’m not really in love with you, Cholo?”
“On what ground? If that were true then you must not be the Karina I love because she will never do that to anyone. She may have changed but I doubt if she will really pull a stint like that. I know her. She’s brave with a pure heart. She’s willing to sacrifice herself for the people that she loves. She’s courageous and selfless. She’s sweet and innocent. You may be different from the past person I know but I still like you then and now. It’s not in your character.”
My face got dimmer. He’s still in denial to accept that not a glimmer of the past Karina remained in me other than the pain. The fact is, the woman he loved has been dead for a long time if it is true that he had a special regard for me then.
It’s the new me now. I’m not the Karina he used to know anymore. It’s just annoying that he keeps comparing me to that weak and ignorant girl. She’s useless and weak, the exact opposite of the person I’m now.
“We just had sex and you saw me crying. The next morning, you suddenly liked me. Oh please Cholo. Get an acting lesson first. You suck.”
The good feeling I had earlier is gone. It has been replaced by anger and annoyance.
“I don’t understand you. I thought you wanted me to get warm with you. Now that I’ve said I liked you, you’re angry. I don’t understand you anymore, Karina.”
“Cause I know you’re not sincere. Even though I have lowered my pride and begged you for just a bit of attention, I will still not lose hope that you will give me your love completely. But I guess it’s too much to ask. On the contrary, I’m thankful. At least you’re giving me a chance. I’ll make the most out of it.”
I looked outside so he wouldn’t see the pain on my face. I calmed myself down and told myself that it was okay. It will all be over soon. It’s okay, Karina. It’s the last time you’re going to do this.
“I’m not just giving you a chance. I’m giving you my all. Again. Just please promise me that this time, you’ll stay. Don’t left me hanging and questioning myself why we didn’t work out.”
He reached for my hand and wrapped it in his and placed it on top of his thigh.
“I’m willing to listen and accept your explanation. Tell me everything that happened. We will begin again. We’ll correct the mistakes we’ve made and forgive ourselves. Let’s start anew, Karina.”
It’s easy to say but very hard to do, Cholo. Forgiveness? It’s not in my book until I’ve crushed them.
Will we start again? I have already started and will make sure to finish it. We can never start anew because we will always detest each other one way or another.
I need to crush you, your family, the love of your life, and your dreams in order for me to get going. We’re bound to hate each other in the end.
But instead of saying that, I just acted like I’m thrilled with the idea.
“Can you really forgive me, Cholo?” I asked in a mixture of hope and sadness.
He looked at me, surprised with my question.
“Of course I can. In fact, I think I just did.”
I lowered my face to hide my bitter smile.
“Thank you. Thank you so much. You made me the happiest woman on earth.”
I squeezed his hand and leaned on his arm. I closed my eyes and released a grin. My cell phone rang so I let go of Cholo. I took it out of the bag and read the message from my brother.
I forgot to tell you earlier. Mass is ready for later.
I took a deep breath as my eyes moistened. My chest gradually tightened so I rolled down the car window to let the air in. Cholo looked at me, clueless about the storm that’s happening inside me.
“Who’s that?”
“Just a delivery notification.”
I tried to smile at him while holding my chest. Hopefully, this will somehow ease the pain caused by the memories.