The way I used to live

chapter 42

Flashback continues:

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Daksha came back to consciousness after a while and opened her eyes to observe the surroundings.

When she noticed that she was in the hospital, all the previous happenings flooded into her mind and

she sat up with a jerk who;e thinking about Teju. She hissed in pain because of the wound on her arm.

She removed the IV needle from her hand and slowly walked outside. When she went outside, she saw

her Mom was sitting there on a chair silently. She slowly went to her and nudged her a little.

"Maa? Where is Teju? She is okay, right?" She asked her mom in a low voice and her mom shook her

head a little.

"Doctors aren't saying anything. She is still in the operation theatre." Her mom sighed sadly.

"Maa, please take me there.. Let's go." Saying this, Daksha grabbed her mom's hand weakly, urging

her Mom to take her there.

"You are so weak. You can see her but rest for a while." Her mom suggested after seeing her

daughter's weak countenance.

"No, Maa. She is more important to me now. I can't calm down until I assure myself that she is well and

safe. Please take me there. I beg you." Daksha said agitatedly and her mom took her to that floor after

thinking for a while.

When they reached there, she saw that her brother was standing at the corner of the hall and was

looking outside the window calmly. But his tensed shoulders clearly indicated that he was anything but

calm and her father sat on the chair silently while covering his face with his hands.

Daksha didn't know what to say or how to console them when she herself wasn't in any better

condition. She took her seat silently and started looking at the operation theatre without blinking her

eyes.

Suddenly the doors of OT opened and Adi was the first one to rush over to the doctor and started

bombarding the questions in anguish.

"Doctor, everything is okay, right? Is she alright? Can I see her now? When will she regain

consciousness? Please discharge her soon. She doesn't like hospitals. We will get her treated from

home itself." Adi said hurriedly in a hopeful tone but all he got was silence as an answer from the

doctor.

"Doctor, why are you not answering? Tell me. Nothing is serious, right?" He again asked him. This time

his father intervened in between and let the doctor say his words.

"I am really sorry. By the time you guys brought her here, she had already lost so much blood and

suffered from hemorrhage. And on top of that, her blood group is RH -ve which is very rare. Though we

have her blood group in our blood bank, we couldn't save them." The doctor explained everything

clearly.

Daksha's mind was stuck at the line 'we couldn't save them.'. After hearing it, she just sat there like a

doll without paying any heed to what was happening around her.

"What did you just say? What do you mean by 'them'?" Adi asked in a pained voice, praying in his heart

to not let it be what he was thinking.

"Don't you know? She was three months pregnant and the miscarriage is the main reason why we

couldn't save her. She lost too much blood from the fall." Doctor asked in confusion and soon it turned

into sympathy at the loss suffered by this family. Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

"I am really sorry. We tried our best to save them but still, we couldn't. Please excuse me. I'll look into

the further procedures." Saying this, the doctor excused himself from there.

"God! What sin had we committed that you punished us so cruelly?" Mrs.Indraja started sobbing while

holding her chest. Adi just rushed inside the room to see the love of his life lying on the bed lifelessly

with a pale face.

He went to her. After kneeling down to the bed level, he took her cold hand into his hand and brought it

to his lips.

The emotions which he was holding till now erupted like a volcano. He stretched his hand and placed it

softly on her belly where there was a symbol of their love alive until the tragedy hit their family.

After that, he held her so tightly as if he wanted to immerse her into him as the tears left his eyes

endlessly for the first time in his life after he became a grown man.

"You are a liar. A big liar. What a fool I was! I believed your words when you promised that you will be

with me forever." He accused her while weeping badly. The staff around the hospital looked at the

family with sympathy in their eyes.

All the rituals were done so quickly and they couldn't recover themselves from the loss they had

suffered. What worried them the most was Daksha and Adi.

While Adi completely started living a secluded life, Daksha hadn't uttered a single word from the time

they heard about Teju's death. She was just like a lifeless doll, always spending her time alone.

She didn't even allow the girls to help her. The glint in her eyes disappeared. Her cheerful persona

changed into a muted one. Her nights turned into sleepless ones. Her dreams changed into

nightmares.

Seeing her children become like that in front of their own eyes, the older couple's worries increased. So

Daksha's father consulted his friend who was a psychologist, working in the U.S. They shifted her there

for a change of environment and for her treatment too.

Flashback ends.

...........

Arjun's POV:

My eyes misted after hearing the suffering she had endured in the past. I really didn't know what to do

and whom to blame. I never expected that she was hiding so much pain behind her carefree smile.

My heart clenched at her sobs. I really wanted to take her in my arms and provide her with the comfort

that she needed but I knew she had to let out all her pent up emotions. So, I let her cry her heart out,

silently promising myself that this would be the last time where I let myself to witness her tears.

"It took me six months to recover from that incident. When I used to close my eyes, all I used to see

was her body amidst a pool of blood. It was so frightening, Arjun. All it took was a night. It destroyed

the dreams which we had in our hearts. It took away our smiles and our peace. But did you see? The

culprit is roaming outside happily. What was our mistake? We didn't do anything wrong to anyone?

Then why is God unfair?" She poured her heart out and I just accompanied her silently to vent out her

aggravations.

"After I came back from the U.S., I started living separately like I have no one along with the girls

because I couldn't stay in the same house that has so many of her memories. My parents were so

supportive. They just wanted my well being, sothey let me do whatever I wanted. I am really grateful

that I got them as my parents. As for Adi Anna, we didn't even know his whereabouts. After that

incident, he visited us for the first time for our wedding. After I started living separately, I stopped

visiting my family as I felt like I was the one who is responsible for all their miseries.

"I can't even look them directly in their eyes without feeling like a culprit and I can't bear that feeling.

So, I lessened my visits even when I knew, they were missing me like hell. I am so selfish, right? I am

really a bad daughter, a bad sister, a bad friend. Many suffered just because of me. I don't deserve this

happiness, Arjun." She said while crying so hard.

This time I couldn't stop myself. So, I scooped her in my arms and hugged her tightly in assurance.

"Don't talk like that. You deserve everything in this world, Daksha," I told her softly and she gave out a

sardonic laugh.

"How can you be so sweet? Does my past not matter to you at all? Should I feel happy that I got you in

my life or should I feel guilty for being selfish for wanting to have you all my life when I clearly don’t

deserve you? You may not know it, Arjun, but you are the one who brought hope in my life. A hope of

happily ever after. The moment I got married to you, I felt like I am the luckiest girl in this whole

universe and I even imagined a beautiful life together with you. But every time when I have this

thought, I always become conscious of my past." I started caressing her hair while listening to her.

"It's like a barrier to my happiness. I am feeling so guilty, Arjun. I am the reason why they lost their

lives. Swathi and Teju both are innocent and the babies they were carrying were even more innocent.

They don't know how cruel the outside world is, yet they suffered at the hands of it. I felt like if I didn't

insist Swathi to file the case back then, she might have not led a happy life but at least she would have

been alive somewhere, living her life with her baby. If I hadn't interfered in their argument, maybe all of

this wouldn't have happened. Teju must still have been alive and we would all be still happy. Our house

must have been filled with the innocent laughter of a baby. How good it would have been!" Saying this,

she leaned into my embrace while sobbing to herself.

"I come with a lot of baggage, Arjun. I am not worthy of you. I am a culprit. Though I don't deserve

punishment in the eyes of law, my conscience won't let me be happy until I serve that animal with the

punishment he deserves. I can never live a guilt-free life. Just when I thought I could be happy with

you, again my past came in front of me. Now I am feeling like I don't deserve you, Arjun. I don't deserve

you." She said in a muffled tone while placing her head on my shoulder.

I immediately held her face and made her look into my eyes.

"Say it again now," I asked her sternly while looking into her eyes. She tried to maintain her gaze and

started saying with her trembling lips.

"I don't deserve you. After everything gets settled, let's get a divo-" knowing very well what she was

going to say, I cut her off by placing my lips on hers and started kissing her fiercely with the promise of

togetherness.

I felt her wound her arms around my neck and she started responding with the same passion while the

tears still rolled down her cheeks. Soon the kiss turned into a slow and soft one. I comforted her

through the kiss in a way that words never could.

I left her when I felt that she was out of the breath. She immediately gasped for air and bent her head

shyly but I held her face to look at me.

"Never. Never ever try to bring that word between us. When I tied this Holy thread around your neck, I

swore in my heart that there would be togetherness, forever." I told her calmly while holding her nuptial

chain and she quickly averted my eyes after nodding at me slowly with her reddened cheeks.

I chuckled a little at the way she was acting all shy. Her face was already red because of her crying and

the blush adorning her face due to the kiss added more to it. Those teary eyes made her look damn

adorable.

Seeing her like this, I again wanted to pull her into a kiss but reminding myself about the situation we

were in, I put a hold to that thought.

So, without turning to her, I placed my hands on the floor at my back and told her.

"And talking about who deserves whom, I have to say this. If there is anyone between us who doesn't

deserve the other, it is me who doesn't deserve you." When she was about to retort it, I placed my

finger on her lips to shush her. She bit back her words and looked at me attentively.

"You know, you are the strongest girl that I have ever seen after my Mom. You faced a lot in the past

yet you emerged out of it strongly. You fought with your own demons, nightmares, and insecurities so

bravely. You became so successful at this young age without letting your past influence you. So how

can I be worthy of this strong, courageous, kind, moreover a pretty and intelligent one, sometimes

muddleheaded though?" I asked her with a smile.

She chuckled a little with her teary eyes at my last words and smacked my arm.

"You started it again. Girl, it took me so much effort to shut that tap. Please give me some face, yaar." I

told her teasingly. She immediately hugged me while laughing a little.

"I am so lucky to have you in my life," he said in a low voice.

"No. I am the lucky one to g-" she cut me off in the middle.

"Geez. Stop it. I know what you are going to say. We both are lucky to have each other. Happy?" She

said and I chuckled at her words. While nodding at her, I hugged her but the smile on my face

disappeared when I remembered about that scumbag.

"Rahul, be ready for your doom. I swear I will make you pay for every drop of tear that you made her

shed." I swore to myself while tightening my hold around her.