#4—Chapter 14
Lecture was boring. Why did I decide to take Mr. Hamilton’s class? He was the most boring lecturer I knew. I should have followed Crispin and taken an extra class in Art or something, just to gain the extra credit. Except I sucked at drawing. So that was out of the picture. No pun intended. If I was gifted in art though, I’d draw a full portrait of Giovanni in the nude. I’d seen his nude body many times when we made love, but nothing could compare to a full portrait-size painting. I’d hang it on my bedroom wall and view it every morning and night before going to bed.
Mr. Hamilton’s soft voice was so soothing to the ear, I almost dozed off when my mobile phone vibrated, jolting me awake.
I opened my message box and saw my sister’s name. I smiled. Maybe she was back to her normal self again. Less despondent.
I read the message she texted.
Amelia: Jen, when do you finish class?
My fingers did all the talking.
Me: I could skip. The class is so boring I could literally fall asleep.
Amelia: Meet me at a café. I have something to tell you.
Me: Okay. What about?
Amelia: Remember that talk we had at the hospital?
My heart felt unsettled at the mention of the hospital. We had talked about my love life, which involved the name Jennifer, Gio, and the twin dragon necklace. I waited to see if she would elaborate more. And she did. And when I soon read it, my heart went into shock.Property © of NôvelDrama.Org.
Amelia: Remember how you said you’re not Jennifer…
I know who she is.
I know her true identity.
And I know where you can find her.
Forgotten Memories Part 1
Amelia knew the identity of Jennifer! My sister knew the real identity of Jennifer! All this time, she knew who Jennifer was.
I was starting to shake, my vision becoming blurry. I found a bench and sat myself down. I tried to control my trembles, but it wasn’t working. I had trouble breathing and had to take long deep breaths. My chest started hurting, and I clenched it tight, forcing myself to calm down, telling myself to calm down. But tears kept flowing, and I basically broke down.
Why did knowing the true identity of Jennifer affect me so much?
I knew why.
It was because I wasn’t her.
Before the truth got revealed, I had always marveled at the fact that I was Giovanni’s true lover. He’d said so many times before that I was his beloved Jennifer. And I had believed him. Every bit of me had believed him wholeheartedly. Even when a tiny voice inside my head had warned me that I was not the person he assumed I was, I didn’t listen to it. I lived in my own made-up world, a land where I’d dreamed that Giovanni was my lover and I really was his Jennifer. And I had been living in this beautiful dreamland for over two months now, until I was rudely pushed awake and now must face reality.
And reality hurt. It was like a knife was stabbed into my chest, again and again. It was so painful I just wanted to die.
I choked back tears, trying to compose myself, but I just couldn’t stop them from flowing down my face.
I’d never loved a man before. Giovanni was my first love, my only love. If we broke up, this would be the end for me. My life would crumble, and I didn’t think I could pick myself up again.
Had I told him I loved him? I couldn’t remember. How many times did I tell him that? Was once enough? Did I need to tell him every day? Because once he found out I was no longer his Jennifer, would the words I love you still mean anything to him?
I just wished he would love me for me and not because of the name Jennifer. I just wished I could remember those few days we spent together like what he’d always told me. But I had no memory of them. Nothing at all.
I took a deep breath and finally after about ten minutes of mental breakdown, I was able to compose myself again. I had to be strong. I couldn’t let my sister see how news of Jennifer had affected me.
I hailed a taxi, straight to the location Amelia had messaged. It was a café I wasn’t familiar with, in a location I’d never been to before.
I paid the taxi driver and made my way out, only to be greeted by chilled wind whipping at my hair and face. I zipped my jacket up, then looked and found Amelia was already inside waiting.
I turned to look up at the sky, telling myself I had to be brave and face the truth. Because whatever the outcome may be, I would have to endure it all. Because that was what my life had amounted to now. Endurance. Endure the pain of seeing the real Jennifer. Endure the pain of seeing both Giovanni and the new Jennifer in love.
The weather wasn’t helping much. The sky was so overcast, giving off a gloomy feeling, the exact same reflection as my own.
Where was the sun when I needed it most? Give me some sunshine. At least it’d make this whole meeting a little less painful.
I walked in, albeit reluctantly, and saw my sister near the front window.
“Sit down, Jen. I’ve ordered your favorite drink. Hot chocolate.”
“Thanks,” I said, glad she remembered my favorite drink.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and waited for her to start talking. About Jennifer. About how she had come to know who she was. About everything that I’d seemed to miss. But Amelia was too busy gazing up at the ceiling of the café. There was a soft smile on her face.
“What do you think of this place, Jen? Do you like the decor?”
Frankly, I didn’t really take much notice of the place until she pointed it out. The café was old and rustic, like it would exist twenty odd years ago. Clearly, the décor sucked and was in urgent need of a full renovation.
“It’s okay. Quite charming, I suppose, for someone who wants to experience what life was like twenty years ago.”
Amelia chuckled softly, as if she had time-traveled to the past.
“You know, I used to love this place,” she said. “I came here almost every day, just to sit here in this very seat and watch out that window.”
I looked at her oddly, wondering why she was telling me all this. She held this nostalgic look on her face as she stared out the window across to the park on the opposite side of the road. I followed her line of sight.
There was nothing much of interest to see. Just some trees and bushes and a few park benches, although one tree stood out from the rest. A really tall beech tree that seemed to have captured my interest, as if I’d seen it in my dreams. But then I was always dreaming of weird stuff anyway. Sometimes living in a dream would be much better. Reality was a hard pill to swallow.
Our drinks came, and I immediately shoved the thought aside. Amelia urged me to drink mine. I took a small sip. The taste was alright. Nothing spectacular. Just normal hot chocolate. I was still waiting for her to tell me about Jennifer, but she seemed to be taking her sweet time.
“I missed this,” she said after some time. “Us, drinking our favorite drinks and watching people walk by.”
“We used to do this?” I asked, my interest piqued.
“Yes, the two of us. After school, we would sit here and watch people. When we were younger. When Ma was still alive.” She took my hand from across the table and grasped it tight, and I knew right then, she was about to tell me something important, something that had to do with my past. “Jen, this was Mama’s café. Mama used to own this place.”
I gazed at Amelia in a daze, her beautiful face suddenly blurry, until I realized I was crying, silent tears flowing down my cheeks. These were tears of joy.
I was so happy that I held both her hands and choked out, “Really, Mel? This…this was Mama’s café?”
“Yes.” She nodded, a small smile on her face. “Do you remember sitting here? Do you remember Mama?”
“No. No. I don’t. I don’t remember anything. I wish I could remember.” I sobbed, using my elbow to make quick work of wiping away my tears, but more just kept on coming. “What was Mama like? Was she pretty and kind like you?”
That was all I could say. Amelia hardly spoke about our past, knowing that I had no memory of it; she was worried it would sadden me. But I was happy because now I knew something about my past.
“She was a beautiful, kind woman, Jen. Just like you. Beautiful inside and out. I only wish you could remember her.”
“I wish it too. I want to go back in time so I could capture all our memories together. Mel, thank you for talking about Ma. I miss her so much.”
“I miss her too, Jen. But I brought you here not just to talk about Ma. There’s something else you should know.”
“What is it?”
“The truth, Jen.”
“The truth?” I pulled my hand back as if stung.
Oh, God, here it comes. This is about Jennifer, isn’t it? I don’t want to hear it. God let me live in denial forever. I don’t want to know who the real Jennifer is.
I clasped my hands together and stared straight ahead. I needed to be strong. The truth would be revealed now. But my eyes betrayed me, hurt and pain making them moist again. “Is it about the identity of Jennifer, Giovanni’s little friend?”
She grabbed my hand again. “Jen. I’m not the perfect sister you think I am. I’m not the perfect role model who you should put on a pedestal. If anything, you should hate me.”
“Mel, what are you saying? I don’t understand.” I was left confused. What was she talking about? Were we not talking about Jennifer?
But she carried on, as if she didn’t hear my questions. “Jen. I’m so sorry. It’s because of me that you have become like this. I did this to you. I made you lose your memory. I was the one who killed Ma.”
“Mel. No.” I jerked back, staring at her in disbelief. “What are you saying? That’s not true. You said Ma died in a car crash.”
“Yes, Jen. Ma did. But that’s because of me. I made her die. I was the cause of her crash.”
“I don’t believe you.” I kept shaking my head, refusing to believe her words. “You’re lying. You’re the sweetest person I know. You couldn’t even hurt a fly. How can you say such things? I don’t believe you.”
“Jen, listen to me.” She gathered my hand and told me straight in my face, “I destroyed your life. I took everything from you. You should hate me. You should yell at me. At least then I know that I’ve done the right thing, by telling you the truth.
“Jen, I can’t keep this secret any longer. It pains me when I look at you. You deserve to know the truth.” She took something out of her bag, a small box, and pushed it toward me. “This belongs to you.”
I opened the box. It was a necklace made out of jade stone in the shape of a twin dragon. A nostalgic feeling settled in my heart as soon as I touched it. “Mel, I don’t understand.”
“Do you remember the story you told me, about how your boyfriend keeps mentioning about a boy from fourteen years ago and the twin dragon necklace?”
“Yes. And I told you, like I told him, that I don’t have it.”
“That’s the twin dragon necklace, Jen. The one your boyfriend mentioned, from fourteen years ago.”
What? No. But…
My mind was in turmoil. I couldn’t process this. If it was really that necklace, how come Amelia had it? How come…
It dawned on me.
Oh, God!
My chest was heaving.
Amelia… My sister Amelia…
Out of all the people in the world, why must it be my sister?
She must be…
I couldn’t take it. If it was really her, how could I watch the two people I love most betray me. Even if that was the cruel truth, how could I hate any of them?
Why did fate play such a cruel trick on me?
I started shaking, and tears started brewing in my eyes. Even if that was the case, I still needed to confirm the truth.
“Amelia, are you…”
She shook her head. “Please don’t misunderstand, Jen. I’m not Jennifer.”
Her answer should have comforted me, but I was at my tipping point. I was tired-exhausted-and I just wished to get this over and done with.
“I don’t understand,” I told her, the tight tension in my chest remaining. “I’m confused. If you’re not Jennifer, then why do you have the necklace?”
“It’s because you have forgotten everything, Jen. You’ve lost your memory from that time. I want to tell you from the start. So you can understand.”
I nodded my head and listened.
“Jen, you were a very sad child when younger. You were always by yourself. Always talking to yourself. You were lonely. But you compensated for this with your active imagination. You created friends. In your head. You talked to them. You told me every day that you had friends, but when I went to pick you up from kindergarten with Pa, the teachers said you were always playing by yourself and talking to yourself. They said none of the other kids wanted anything to do with you.
“I was mad and sad. Why did no one want to be friends with my sister? And then you met a boy, a teenage boy, under that beech tree. He became your friend. I know this because I’d been following you, watching over you.
“He was a scruffy-looking boy, but I liked him. I wanted to be his friend, too. So I approached him. But he told me to go away. He said he didn’t need any friends. His words hurt me. I hated him then, Jen. I hated him. Why didn’t he want to be my friend when he was friends with you? What did you have that I didn’t? I grew jealous of your friendship.
“How could it be possible that the two of you are friends? Your age gap was too big. There was no common thread between you and him. He was in his early teens, and you were only five. But yet, there was this invisible thread that connected you to him. Almost every day I would see him waiting for you under that tree, and you would go running off to him with that cup of coffee you brewed.
“Sometimes I would watch you both interact, and I just wanted to drag you off and separate you from him, but then I saw his kind gestures, the way he talked to you, the way he listened to you, like he genuinely cared. And then I saw your eyes light up, like you were truly happy to have a real true friend who genuinely cared for you. I was happy too. Until the day he gave you that necklace, and my jealousy rushed back.
“I remembered that day so clearly. It was raining so hard you could hear the sound of the pounding rain on the glass window. Mama was driving us home. We were in the back seat. When I saw that necklace in your hand, my jealousy just took over. I snatched that necklace from you, making you cry. I had accused him of stealing that necklace. I kept telling you that I’d take him to the police so he could rot in jail. You cried so hard, trying to defend him, but I didn’t care. I kept scaring you. We argued. Mama got distracted, trying to stop us. And that was when it happened. A truck collided with our car, killing Mama on the spot.
“I remembered a buzzing sound in my ear, like everything was silent. And I felt a body on top of me, cushioning me from the crash. I pushed it off and realized it was you. Your small lifeless body was just lying there where I moved you. And then I blacked out.
“When I woke up days later in the hospital, the doctors said I was very lucky to be alive. If you weren’t there to help cushion me from the crash, I would have been dead, too. You protected me, Jen. You had protected me from death. I cried when I knew the truth. I wanted to go say sorry to you. But they said you were in a coma. I waited every day for you to wake up, but you never did. They gave me the jade twin dragon necklace. I thought I’d keep it for you, until the day that you woke up. And you did. Six months later. But you couldn’t remember me. You couldn’t remember Pa. I thought maybe it was best if we started fresh. I was selfish; I didn’t want to go through that pain again of hurting you, so I kept the necklace hidden, hoping that when your memory came back, I’d give it back. But you never recovered your memories.
“Jen. You are my little sister. Your real name is not Jenny. Your real name is Jennifer Stone. And the boy who gave you that necklace, his name is Giovanni Dente, your lover.”