[Book 2] Chapter 123
lan POV
I waited. It was quiet, the corridor was empty. The nurses, the doctors, the relentless questions, poking, and prodding were over and done with. I was no longer in pain, except for the pins and needles in my legs. The specialist had been all over me, making me flex my legs for him, checking my reflexes, even getting me to stand. I could do it, but it was with difficulty and with sweat beading down my forehead. My main concern was for Dawn. I couldn't get the image of her out of my head. Her body was bruised and battered, her lower lip swollen, and the sound of the cries she had made as that man had tried to r**e her. It all played over and over again in my mind. She had been brave, braver than any woman I had known, and faced insurmountable odds. I hadn't had a chance to see her, to confirm for myself that she was alright and even though I had asked, it was not the same as knowing for myself. I missed her and being away from her side, even in a hospital setting was slowly killing me. I had to go to her.
I gingerly climbed out of bed, biting my lip so that I made no noise. I was clad in a loose pair of sweatpants and a shirt. I vehemently refused to wear the hospital gown, and I stood, swaying slightly on my feet, still unaccustomed to being able to use them so freely. It was strange, but I ignored the pain suddenly flaring through my legs and padded across the room, slowly opening the door and peering out. Perfect. The hallway was empty. I stepped out and gritted my teeth, walking down two rooms and opening the door, sliding quickly inside and shutting the door as I heard a gasp from behind me. I turned and saw her. She was sitting up, that long beautiful hair of hers cascading down past her shoulders. Her eyes were wide, like beautiful crystals, and even as bruised as she was, she had never looked more beautiful to me. She too wore sweatpants and a shirt and had cleaned up, and as I walked slowly and painfully over, she looked concerned, while I gratefully sank into the nearest chair, allowing my body to rest. I had overdone things and my body was paying for it, but I had been determined to see Dawn for myself. To make sure she was okay. To convince myself that she was still here and wasn't going anywhere.
"lan" she whispered, glancing uncertainly at the door "Should you even be in here? You're going to get in trouble" she added.
I raised a brow and snorted "What are they going to do, put me in time out."
She giggled despite herself, as I took her hand and held it to my lips, kissing it tenderly, my body relaxing as I took in the smile on her face.
"The doctors will drag you back" she warned but smiled at me anyway.
"I don't care, I needed to know how you are," I told her earnestly, gripping her hand tightly "I needed to see for myself that you were okay. What you went through..." I exhaled, guilt overwhelming me "It should never have happened Dawn. I should have been better prepared for this."
She shook her head "You could hardly take Dexter into consideration and life throws all sorts of things at us" she said frankly "lan, stop blaming yourself. I'm okay. The doctors have bandaged me up and I've been cleared to leave tomorrow." I could feel my chest tightening. She could leave. She'd been cleared. Was she going to stay and continue to be my fiancee or was this the end for us? Had what she gone through been enough to scare her away forever? I could feel my hands becoming clammy as I fought to maintain my composure.
"Have you thought about" I struggled to keep my voice even "where you want to go from here?"
I would not beg. I had to maintain some semblance of dignity. But as I gazed upon her, I could see every sense of my dignity being torn to shreds as I realized that if that was what it took to keep her, I would do exactly that. Dawn looked surprised, her eyebrows creasing and then she frowned as my spirits began to sink.
"lan, I don't know" she began as I felt my body begin to tremble in fear.
Gods, please don't do this. I've already lost somebody I loved, I can't bear to go through the same amount of pain again, not when I could have prevented this woman from leaving.
"I swear, Dawn, whatever it takes to make you feel safe. Whatever you feel you need, I'll give it" I blurted out, leaning forward to peer anxiously into her eyes.
Forget pride. Forget dignity. I was flinging them out to the winds in desperation. I wanted her. Just her and Faith. Life wasn't worth living without them.
"lan," she said, her voice gentle "I'm not sure what my next move is, after everything that's happened do you really think..." "Don't leave" I blurted out, my voice shaking as she stared at me, her eyes widening "Don't leave me. I swear to god Dawn, I don't think I could deal with it. You and Faith" I told her earnestly "you're my entire world. I never thought I would find somebody to love again and then you walked into my life and it was like you bowled me completely over. I know what you went through was hard, and I know that it was traumatic, but I am begging" I rasped "Give me a chance to make this right, to make things right between us. Give me a chance to show you that things can be different and that your life is not always going to be in danger just because you're with me. Karen's gone. I can walk again" my voice broke ever so slightly "I can show you how much I love you. But if you walk away now, then there's nothing left for me."
Silence. She looked astonished. I was laying it all out on the line. I saw her glance down towards her hand, the ring we had purchased together shining brightly. She fiddled with it. I didn't know whether it was a good sign or not. She hadn't taken it off, I surmised, surely that was something? She had fought so hard to stay alive, even shooting a gun in an effort to try and save me. It wasn't as though her feelings for me had disappeared.
"I'm afraid" she whispered, as I gripped the arms of the chair, my nails digging in, "lan I could have died. You almost did. What if I had left Faith without a mother?"
"It never would have happened," I told her but she looked unconvinced.
"You can't predict that lan, and even if you assured me you would have taken care of her, that doesn't make it right."
I struggled to find the right words to say. My heart was racing in my chest. Part of me felt like I was turning to stone. She looked so sad, sitting there, staring down at the ring, a look of conflict on her face. I couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear to think that she might be walking away from us, from what we had forged together.
"I would die before I let that happen to you ever again" my voice was barely above a murmur as she raised her head to look at me, her eyes swimming with tears "I almost died when that man was touching you. I felt so helpless, being unable to do anything and all I wanted was to kill him. You suffered unbearable things, because of my cowardice and I'm ashamed at how weak I proved to be in the end. I understand you're feelings" I said, bowing my head as she continued to listen "and if you feel that walking away, is in your and Faith's best interests, I won't interfere, because god help me, you deserve to feel safe after everything."
It killed me to say those words. I desperately wanted to take them back but I had to do the right thing for Dawn and Faith, even if it meant breaking my own heart. "All I can say is that I love you Dawn Evans, and your daughter. I have loved you since I met you and I will never forget you" I said, fighting back the tears "And if you stayed, I would do everything in my control to ensure that your life was happy and as loving as I picture it being."
She burst into tears, shocking me. I stood up and climbed into the bed, laying beside her, holding her against my chest as she wept.
"I don't want to leave" she sobbed, while I held her tight, feeling her heart race, hearing the pain in her voice "I don't want to leave you, lan. I love you too" she confessed as my heart skipped a beat in joy.
Why was she so upset? She put a hand on my chest "Every time I thought you might die, I felt like my heart was torn in two. I can't leave you lan Grant, no matter how afraid I am" she sniffled "because that would be walking away from something that I might never get to experience again in this lifetime. All I ask" she said, peering up at me as I stroked her hair, relishing in the feel of the silky strands flowing through my fingers "is that you give me time. I just need time" she whispered, begging me to understand.
I would give her all the time that she needed so long as she stayed. I closed my eyes, inhaling her sweet scent, feeling the warmth of her body next to mine. It was soothing. Comforting. She sobbed, pressing her head into my shoulder. For a long minute, there was nothing more said between us, both of us clinging to each other for dear life. I didn't want to leave. My body relaxed against hers and to my surprise she started to relax, her breathing becoming more even. She closed her eyes and I nestled against her. The sound of the door opening startled the two of us, the doctor walking in looking slightly apologetic as I glared at them for disturbing our peace.
"I apologize for the interruption Miss Evans and um, Mr Grant" she stammered, looking slightly puzzled to find the two of us together but wisely choosing not to say anything about it "But your blood test results have come back Miss Evans and we thought there is something that you should know. That is, of course, providing you don't already know, but because you failed to mention it when we took your blood, we're under the assumption that you don't yet know."
I frowned and helped Dawn to sit up. Unlike public hospital beds, these private ones were more like double ones, which was a lot more comfortable, fitting two people in. I slid off and sat on the armchair feeling concerned. The nurse slid her eyes between us, biting her lip. What was wrong with Dawn's blood test results?Content © copyrighted by NôvelDrama.Org.