Sidelined Love: Chapter 23
The next day, I decide to leave my apartment early in order to get to Brewed Beginnings before Levi, giving me time to calm myself down before our conversation. It is a ridiculous thought because the closer I get to the coffee shop, the more nervous I become. The nausea I’m feeling stays at the same level until I hear the chime from the bell above the door of the coffee shop.
But as fate would have it, I manage to get there after Levi anyway. He is already seated at a small table tucked into the corner, looking as handsome as ever. My heart slams in my chest as I approach him because I have no idea how this conversation is going to go.
As if he senses I’m here, Levi’s eyes lift to meet mine and he gives me a faint smile. I can’t help but notice he’s tapping his fingers on the table. It makes me think that he is just as nervous as I am. Without saying anything, I sit down across from him, and we fall into an awkward silence.
I can feel his gaze on me as if he’s trying to figure out how to proceed without making things more uncomfortable. Finally, he breaks the silence.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hi,” I reply, my voice barely audible, especially with all of the noises occurring around us.
We watch each other, I assume we are both trying to read the other person and figure out how not to make this even more uncomfortable.
“Did you want something to drink or eat? I can go grab it for you.”
I shake my head quickly. “Thanks, but I’m okay.”
Levi clears his throat and I know it’s time to rip the Band-Aid off. “Thanks for agreeing to meet me here. After what happened at Sapphire Tavern… I wanted a chance to talk.”
“Same. I’ll admit, the other night left me feeling…” I trail off, uncertain how to articulate myself.
“Overwhelmed? Uncomfortable?” Levi adds gently.
“Both of those, yes,” I agree.
Levi lets out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Hailey, I’m really sorry about all of that, but it would be a lie if I said I don’t know what came over me.”
My eyes dart to the left before focusing back on him. “So you know what came over you?”
“I got caught up in the moment. I’d had a couple of shots before leaving Wilder’s place, and then when I walked into the bar and saw you there with Jade and your coworker, I was jealous.”
“But there was nothing to be jealous about. Ben is a friend and you and I aren’t together.”
Levi rubs both hands over his face. “You’re right. I know there’s nothing official between us and I had no reason to be jealous. But at that moment, seeing you with another guy, I felt… possessive, I guess. I’m not proud of it.”
He meets my gaze once again and says, “The truth is, I really like you, Hailey. When we first met, I liked that you gave me shit, to put it mildly, and I thought you were intriguing. As we’ve spent more time together, I’ve realized how thoughtful, witty, and caring you are when you start to open up. You challenge me in ways no one else does.”
I’m stunned by Levi’s honest confession. I hadn’t realized he felt that strongly. I take a moment to gather my thoughts before responding.
“Thank you for saying that,” I say. “The truth is, I like you too. More than I expected. But this whole situation makes me nervous.”
“I get it. The attention that is on me due to hockey can be a lot.”
“Part of it is that. I’m a pretty private person and you’re basically a celebrity around here. I don’t want to end up being gossiped about around school. Heck, us meeting for chess lessons is probably enough to cause people to talk.”
“I would never want that either,” Levi says earnestly. “Your comfort is important to me. If this, well, whatever this is, is going to work, we need to be on the same page.”
“Well, if we want to lay everything out there, there are some other issues that are relevant to this that I think we should talk about.”
“Tell me.”
I let out a deep sigh. “My mom walked out on me and my dad when I was nine.” I wait as the surprise registers on his face. “When she left, it really messed me up, and it still affects me now. I’ve had a hard time trusting people since.”
Levi nods slowly. “That makes sense. I’m sorry she did what she did and caused you trauma that you’re still trying to heal from.”
Something about the way he says that sets me on edge. “I didn’t tell you that so you could pity me.”
Levi lets out a sarcastic laugh. “That’s the last thing I’m feeling. I think you’re stronger than even you know.”
And just like that, my irritation fades because I’m touched by Levi’s words. For so long, I’ve felt ashamed of the hurt my mother caused, like it was my fault she left. Hearing Levi acknowledge the wrongness of her actions and recognize my strength makes me feel good.
“I appreciate you saying that. I’m still figuring things out, but the acknowledgment helps.” I suck in a deep breath. “That night at Sapphire Tavern made me realize that there is something between us, but we need to take things slowly.”
Levi nods understandingly. “Of course. We can move as slow as you want to. I don’t want you to feel any pressure. Unlike the kiss I laid on you at the bar.”
“I enjoyed the kiss. Probably way more than I should have.” I give him a small smile before I continue. “But I don’t really want to label this right now. Let’s continue getting to know each other and see where it goes.”
“I’m good with that,” Levi agrees. “Do you still want to do a chess lesson today?”
I think about it for a moment before nodding my head. “Why don’t we since we’re both here anyway? I’ll go grab a set.”
Levi’s face lights up as I stand up, but he does the same. I raise an eyebrow at him, wondering what he is doing. “I’m going to grab a drink. Do you want something?”
If I’m being honest with myself, I’m happy he asked. I couldn’t imagine eating or drinking anything when I first walked in here, but now I could use something. “A chai latte would be great.”
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Levi and I go our separate ways and I beat him back to our table. I take my time setting up the chessboard, and by the time Levi comes back, he has two drinks and a small paper bag.
“What did you get to eat?” I ask him, trying to keep things casual.
“Two brownies for us to split.”
My eyes widen. “How did you know I like brownies?”
“I saw you eating one when we had our first lesson. Thought we could use a sweet treat after what we talked about.”
I like the way he thinks. I smile at Levi’s thoughtfulness as I take a sip of the chai latte he brought me. The warmth and sweetness hits the right spot, and I’m the happiest I’ve been in days.
We settle in across from each other at the small table, the chessboard between us. For a moment, neither of us makes a move, both seemingly lost in our own thoughts.
“I’m glad we talked,” Levi says, breaking the silence once more. “I know it wasn’t easy.”
I nod. “It was needed though. I feel better having been open about how I’m feeling.”
“Me too,” he agrees. He studies the chess pieces before he speaks again. “I meant what I said about taking things slowly. I care about you, Hailey, and I don’t want to mess this up.”
“Alright, let’s focus on chess now,” I say, redirecting our conversation to the familiar territory of strategy and competition.
I take a deep breath and make the first move, moving my queen’s pawn forward two spaces. Levi responds by also shifting his queen’s pawn, mirroring my action. As the game progresses, I walk him through various strategies, emphasizing the importance of developing pieces in the early game. He listens attentively, nodding as I explain each concept.
Despite being new to the game, he quickly demonstrates a knack for anticipating my moves. When I capture one of his pawns with my knight, he responds by putting my king in check with his queen. I’m impressed by how quickly he’s picking up on things.
“You’re a fast learner,” I remark as I block his check.
“I have a good teacher,” he replies without a second thought.
I bite my lip and shake my head, choosing to focus on our game. I counterattack, putting his king in checkmate. “Checkmate in fifteen moves. Not bad at all,” I say.
Levi grins. “Ready for another round so I can try to beat my new record?”
“If that’s what you want to do,” I say before sticking a piece of brownie in my mouth.
He laughs, a genuine and carefree sound. “If there’s one thing you should know about me, I’m not one to give up easily.”
I absolutely believe that. With him not being turned off by my snarkiness or my pushing him away, he must have the patience of a saint.
Levi moves first this time, pushing his king’s pawn into the center of the board. We fall into a rhythm that feels natural and any nerves I had when I first arrived are long gone.
As we play, I realize that despite my reservations about getting involved with someone like Levi because of his popularity, I’m beginning to appreciate the person he is beyond the image. His humor when he feigns shock at my aggressive moves, his gentle way of teasing when I take too long to decide on a move, all of it is calming to me. It’s beginning to feel more and more normal.
“You know,” Levi says after I’ve taken one of his knights, “I was reading up on chess after our last lesson. Did you know they call it the game of kings?”
I snort lightly. “Yeah, because historically, it was played by nobility or because of the king chess piece. What are you trying to say? That you’re king material?”
“Well,” he draws out the word with a playful smirk. “Considering my last name is Jamison and James means supplanter, which could loosely be interpreted as one who takes over, a king isn’t too far-fetched.”
I laugh harder than I probably should have at his logic. I don’t remember the last time I laughed this hard, and the grin on Levi’s face only grows. “I’ll remember not to underestimate King Levi when it comes to chess then.”
“Don’t underestimate me when it comes to anything. I know what I want, and I go after what I want full stop.”
His words send a shiver down my spine, and I can’t help but think about what it might be like when we finally give in to the tension that is coursing between the two of us.
The game continues and this time it stretches longer as Levi becomes more cautious with his moves. When we finally conclude our second game, he manages to extend his record to twenty-five moves. But what’s interesting to me is that after our conversation and subsequent chess lesson, the energy around us is more friendly and, at least in my opinion, our connection has grown stronger.
“It’s getting late,” Levi comments as we pack up the chess set. “Thanks for sticking around for a couple of games.”
“It was fun,” I admit truthfully. Part of me didn’t want to leave, and that’s when another thought came to my mind. “When are you going to be able to help me with the chess event at Oak Terrace?”
Levi pauses his movements for a moment as he processes the question. “Yeah, we need to do that. How about we meet up at either your place or mine in the next couple of weeks?”
I pull out my phone and start looking through my calendar. “When do you have an evening free? I’m working several early shifts this week. Why don’t we meet at your place?” The last thing I need is for Jade to see Levi walking around our apartment.
“What about two Thursdays from now?”
“I can come over after chess club.”
“That would be perfect. Why don’t I also fix dinner for us if you think you’ll be hungry.”
I tilt my head and stare directly into his eyes. “This is beginning to sound more like a date.”
“And what if it is? Do you have a problem with that?”
I smile for what feels like the millionth time since I came here. “Not a one.”