Chapter 19
Chapter 19
Livy
I saw him again. It wasn't a nightmare.. it's never a nightmare each time I see him.
It's a happy dream, maybe a memory lost in the space of my mind, but somehow I manage to wake up in tears.
He didn't say much, only the words that mattered to a 9yr old then, 'Let's leave together, 'take my hand and don't let go, I'll hold you, so you don't have to worry about getting lost again', 'sleep now, I'll not leave your side, I promise.
I couldn't say anything, so I didn't even ask for his name, maybe because I trusted and believe he would not leave my side.
I had another fever... I was at the infirmary half unconscious, but when I finally woke, he was gone.
I was told that his guardian had come to pick him which made no sense. I thought he was like me, alone in this place. But one thing became clear, he was not like me at all. He had a family that loved and worried about him.
I couldn't remember who I was, I felt lost and my memories were in shambles each time I tried to remember, then I opened my eyes.
I woke up from my sweet-sad dream with tears streaming down the side of my face to my neck. I was I crying?
Did I have that dream again? What was it about? Who was in it? The harder I tried to recall the dream I just had, the more intensified the migraine trying to explode my head was.
Like always, I couldn't recall what or who my dream was about, and as the passing of the night, it pulled my dreams along with her.
I turned to find myself on the bed surprisingly. I could at least remember that I slept on the couch last night, so how come? How was I on the bed now? Could it be Markian? No, it couldn't be.
For the past few nights we've been married back at home, he always slept in his study. I hated it, and it made me feel guilty each time he did that. So, why would he help me to the bed when I clearly wanted him to sleep on it comfortably by giving him his space?
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While I was contemplating on how I got to the bed, the sexiest man I have ever seen walked out of the bathroom
Markian was oozing of perfection as water trickles down his black silky hair- that seemed to have added in length since the wedding, unto his very manly wet chest and down his stomach.
He was a wonderful sight to behold, but at the same time my cheeks were burning with excitement. I tried to turn away, or blink -because my eyes were starting to bum, or even breath, but I couldn't do any of the above.
I just sat there, eyes wide open, ogling at the fine specimen in front of me. I was finally brought to reality when his eyes met with mine, I swear I would have died of embarrassment.
I mentally slapped myself for suddenly feeling so hory, and getting all kinds of crazy ideas. But most of all, I was dissapointed as to how much I wanted Markian not just emotionally, but also physically
He gave that smirk of his that sends my heart beat racing pass normal, but I also knew what it meant. I was caught red-handed again, so I quickly turned my head to the other side pretending to look around the room.
For the first time since we arrived, I was able to appreciate the beauty and exquisite nature of the suite we stayed in.
"You're awake? Perfect, so what do want to do today?" he asked me.
Wait, I'm i still asleep? Of course I am, things like these are too real to be true anyway, they only happen in my dreams. I swiftly turned to see if those words really came from Markian, but got the shock of my life.
I suddenly came to a halt as I could feel his breath on my face, his lips only few inches from mine, with his hair pushed out of his face-which seemed to have been finger-combed backward, I could see his grey-blue eyes staring deeply into my soul.
This is strange, I feel like its a dream but why I'm I sudden feeling so hat below my abdomen? My breathing changed and my heart beat became intense, its pounded so hard I felt like it could jump out at any moment.
I swallowed hard and with my last will I turned to the opposite direction, but that will suddenly broke into pieces as strong firm fingers pulled my chin back to face Markian.
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He was staring at my lips intensely making me feel even hatter -i don't know how possible that was, but it became torturous.
"L. L.. i." swallowing hard again, I felt to embarrassed as to how hopeless my words were turn out to sound.
I slowly cleared my throat, but it didn't help, it made it hurt even more. T.. do...anything you want to do, I don't have any plans" I finally replied.
With this revelation, he pushed my face aside and pulled out from the bed he was bending over and using his other hand as support. "Are you sure? I thought since you meticulously planned all these, you might actually have plans to back up your efforts, don't you think?" he spoke disdainfully
I'm not dreaming, this is my reality and this right here is the Markian I have to live with. His cold aura was back but the hotness and sharp pain below my abdomen wasn't going away.
What? Plan? What plan? It was his idea that we go on a honeymoon without even consulting me. And now, is he trying to falsely accuse me right now?
"I don't understand, what do you mean?" I requested. I was proud of myself for having the courage to even ask, but quickly felt the need to crawl under a rock and hide again as his face turned red and his eyes dark.
He's stares now seemed to bore holes in my skin, it was really scary. I tried to get off the bed and run for safety, anywhere but in front of him would be ok. But he caught me by the shoulder and pushed me against the wall close to the bed.
As my back met with the cold wall, my heart almost shot out my chest. I was terrified now, because I wasn't sure what he would do next.
All I wanted was a normal morning, nothing fancy. Just a good morning that would go with me taking in the savor of the beautiful flowers placed at the balcony of our hotel suite with a cup of sweet coffee.
I didn't plan to go anywhere, I had no intention of doing anything out of the normal for the next 13 days, so why are we fighting right now? I tried to push him away, but he was way bigger and stronger than me. I felt raw fear envelope me, I was finding it difficult to breath now. 'Please, somebody... anybody, please, save me. I could see myself struggling to shout, was I drowning? I can't seem to move, something is restricting my movement and no matter how hard I try to reach for air, I couldn't
Until Markian's husky voice brought me back to reality as I almost passed out. Ironic, isn't it?
The same person who was the reason for my panic attack just now was the same person who brought me out of it.
"This game you are trying to play, I'll play along. But know one thing, no one has ever beaten me a game before. I always win."
I'm not playing games' I wish I could tell him that, but that wouldn't change anything. He hates me so much and nothing I say would change that.
"You're... hurting me. Please let me go I pleaded with teary closed eyes. When I opened them, he scoffed and let go.
"I hate this, and the fact that you know how to act so well just drives me insane. I am the victim here! Not your" he yelled.
I knew everything happened because of me, and I can't help but wonder at a time like this, what it would have been like if I had never showed up at the courthouse that day.
But no matter how I look at it, if I'm given a second chance to go back in time, I won't do anything differently. This realisation alone torments me and makes me feel like the villain.
I wanted to run away, anywhere, just to leave Markian's presence, but something stopped me and I had to let words spill out without proper thought.
"I'm.. a victim tool I didn't get married to you because I wanted to, I did because if I hadn't, my mom wouldn't have forgiven your"