Chapter 19
But why was that? It would have been okay, our vacation would have been perfect if I hadn’t just overheard their conversation.
I turned to Ivan who was leaning his head on my shoulder and sleeping peacefully. How was he able to sleep after he cheated on me? I hope he didn’t make me too happy if he just hurt me like this.
I gasped when I remembered how I listened to their conversation, I was surprised because Ivan was away for five hours so I went down to the lobby and found out he was in the office. There was only a door between the three of us. They were so happy because they met again but me? I feel like a fool crying while listening to them.
And when I heard how they exchanged those three words, I felt like my heart was crushed and I could do nothing but run away. How do they do this to me? They have no conscience.
Ivan was even able to give me roses and chocolates, he was different.
What were his promises for? The one he said we should rebuild our family? Was all that just part of his plan and pretense? Stupid, very painful.
She didn’t even think about how her son would feel. He never embarrassed us again. Imagine, he will put his fixture in our house?
was he still human?
I took a deep breath to hold back my tears. I’m so broken. I’ve already given him a chance to fix everything on us, but what? He just broke us even more.
I looked at my son. I don’t know what her reaction will be once her daddy loves someone else. Jusko, my son was unfortunate.
When we got home I tried to smile to hide how I really felt.
I’m done cooking our lunch today. I set the table and when I was done I removed the apron. I sighed when someone hugged me from behind. In stature and smell, I knew it was Ivan.
I took a deep breath at the same time as dripping a grain of my tears. I secretly wiped it and removed Ivan’s arm from my waist and faced him. I saw his shock but he immediately smiled as well. But me, I was just looking at him seriously.This is from NôvelDrama.Org.
“Hm, the smell of what my wife cooked. Can I call Ice so we can eat together?” He asked.
My spouse. It would have been sweet to listen to and good to hear but … it hurts. It hurts because I know he’s just pretending.
“I … Ivan, that’s right …” I pleaded with the tears I had been holding back.
He frowned and tried to hold my arm but I immediately walked away and took his hand away.
“Ri … Rigella?” Kunot noo he said.
“It’s enough to pretend please, Ivan … It hurts. It hurts so much!” My voice was almost hoarse from crying so much.
“What do you mean?” He asked almost in a whisper.
I violently wiped away my tears. “Don’t disguise yourself because I already know, Ivan! Do you think I haven’t heard you before?” My voice went from page to page and I was about to sit on the floor. “Now, tell me the truth … was it all a lie?”
Rigella’s POV
“Now, tell me the truth … was it all a lie?”
He couldn’t answer my question and just averted his eyes. Funny, I was crying in front of him again. I feel sorry for myself. Can I take a break from the pain first? I don’t want to, I’m so tired.
I sat up but restrained myself from squatting on the floor. I get angry, I get disgusted and mostly, I get hurt. Why do I have to experience all this? All my life, I have served God faithfully. Even if I wanted to ask him why I was in pain and blame him … I couldn’t. Because I have strong faith in him.
I smiled bitterly. It’s also my fault, I believed in his sweet words and in his efforts which were just pure pretense.
A few more minutes of silence prevailed. It looks like he really didn’t want to answer my question so I just spoke.
“For seven years, Ivan … you didn’t make me feel anything but pain. That’s all …” my voice was almost hoarse but I tried to speak.
“… I sometimes think of leaving you, but I can’t because I’m worried about our son. Ice. I can only imagine how he looks and how he will feel when we’re not the whole family like he’s killing me. So even if I’m hurt, I’m trying to be strong for Ice. I love her so much … ”
I covered my face so he wouldn’t see how miserable I looked. It’s always like this. I’m the one who’s always hurting and crying.
“… But Ivan, it’s too much. I’m about to die from the weight of my heart. From the pain here in my heart. I’m about to get depressed. But I don’t care about all that because it’s more important Ice. He’s more important! ”
I struggled to stand up and wiped away my tears. Ivan was looking at me now and I could see the compassion and pity in his eyes. He’s stupid, I don’t need his mercy.
“… And you, I love you so much more than myself. There was no love left for myself because I love you so much. But why can’t you be content? I did nothing but serve you, love you and be honest with you. But why do you just ignore it, huh? Why ?! ” I grabbed the collar of her dress and over it. I shook him and I saw the nervousness and fear on his face. Her lips were also trembling. Why was he scared? was it because I found out they cheated on me with his hook?
He tried to hold my hand but I immediately pulled you away. This time, I want to bring out all the thoughts with him. It was very difficult for me to absorb all of this. For seven years, I have had this disease.
“Ri … Rigella …” he tried to touch me again but I pulled myself away from him.
“You shut up, Ivan! You’re a demon! You have no conscience! How can you hurt me like this, huh? You should have just killed me!” I was sobbing and my eyes were dimming from crying.
“I’m sorry-”
“I don’t need your sorry, Ivan! That’s less than all the pain, bruises and wounds you’ve caused me. You’re an animal. Isn’t it enough that you hurt me physically for me to pay for the It’s my fault for you? Do you have to hurt me so badly first to be satisfied ?! ”
He tried to hold me uit and he succeeded this time. I can’t leave because I’m weak.
“It’s not what you think, Rigella …” he almost stammered.
My blood boiled at what he said. I tried to remove his hand from my arm and when I succeeded I slapped him hard on the cheek. I have wanted to do this for a long time.
“It’s not what I think, huh? I knew it all along, Ivan! I want revenge because your dreams in life with Lara didn’t go through. And, congratulations! You did hurt me now! What, were you happy now , huh? were you happy ?! ” I pushed his chest so he could get away from me.
I wiped the tears from my cheeks and stabilized my expression. I don’t want to look miserable in his eyes.
“… Trusting you was the last thing I’ll do in my whole life, Ivan. You broke the rest of my trust in you, I’m so stupid that maybe I’ll trust you, right?”
I saw the masculinity of his eyes and the cleft of his lips. I sighed and grinned sarcastically before he looked me straight in the eye and spoke.
“All right, let your fixture live here in this house. But expect me not to leave here and I will fight for my right to this house.” I turned my back on him and was about to leave but I forgot to say something so I faced him again.
I was about to speak but he immediately preceded me. ‘t-Thank you, Rigella …” Aniya.
My jaws were left open with what he said. What the? Has he even really been able to thank me? Really stupid.
I just smiled and stared. “You’re welcome.” I said sarcastically but you immediately disappeared when I remembered what I had to say to him. “All right, have fun now, Ivan. But be scared too. Be scared of how your son will react.” I said seriously to him and turned around then walked away.
From now on, I will be tough with him. All right, let him put his fixture in our house. But he never expected me to be submissive to them. They were animals.