Red flag
Zinnia
I stood in the bathroom, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Blank eyes stared right back at me. I sucked in a breath as I brought the gold platted gown I brought earlier on my walk with Alex.
It fit me like a glove. It hugs all the right curves of my body. Putting the dress aside, I went back to staring at myself in the mirror. I tried recalling how my life had been before Reed ever came into the picture.NôvelDrama.Org (C) content.
It was boring. Plan. I realised I had fallen into a pattern that even an eighty-year-old in a retirement home would find monotonous. But I had managed to make it work. Go to work, close late, sleep in and would only wake up when it was time to check into work.
But now, I couldn’t imagine ever going back to that. I would lose my fucking senses. Reed, despite his rough exterior and how fucked up he is, has brought some sort of meaning to my life. And I liked it. True, he has killed people, some, in front of me, others, he made me watch, but that has been the most exciting thing I have experienced.
I remember him telling me I would be just as psychotic as him. Perhaps, I already am. I mean, I think killing people is exciting.
“Oh my God, Zinnia! What are all these marks on your body?” Alex’s voice from the doorway made me gasp. Instantly, I looked away from the mirror and struggled to find something to cover my naked body.
“Is it him? Did he do all this to you?” Alex walked further into the room, concern written all over her face. I couldn’t look her in the eyes. I wasn’t about to explain that he had in fact, done these things to my body, and I loved every second of it.
“Alex, what are you doing here? I thought you were getting ready for the ball,” I hoped my response would deter her from the marks on my body. But it didn’t.
“I was, until I decided to come check up on you. Don’t change the subject. Did he do this to you? Is he forcing you to be with him?” Alex asked, grabbing my arms and inspecting my body.
There were bruises on my neck, and my wrists from the bondage restraints he used on me the day before, on my thighs and my back. In total, there were about fifteen. I could give an approximate number because I have spent most of my days dreaming about every bruise and how it came about.
“It’s nothing, Alex. You don’t have to worry about it,” I replied, hugging the coverall I’d found close to my body. I tried walking past her to occupy myself with the dresses I bought, but she grabbed my arm.
“Talk to me Zinnia. Is he hurting you? Is he doing anything you don’t want? Is he forcing you?”
“No! My God, no Alex. Reed would never do that,” I said, then realised that was a lie. He did force himself on me. He snuck into my house, picked my body with scissors while he fucked me with his hands. As if that wasn’t enough, he kidnapped me, chained me and…
“Zinnia, do you trust me?” Alex stared at me. I mean, really stared at me. And, I felt guilty, for lying to her face, even after I promised to be honest. Even after knowing she was worried about me.
“I trust you, Alex,” I replied. She sighed in relief, then grabbed both my hands and led me towards the bed. Once we sat, she kissed the back of my hands before gently caressing it.
“I lost a friend. She was in an abusive relationship. I saw the signs. I saw the bruises on her body, but whenever I asked, she told me it was nothing. That they were experimenting. It wasn’t after her burial that I read her diary and I found out he was abusing her,” Alex’s eyes watered.
“I don’t want that for you, Zinnia. I lost a friend once and I don’t think I would be able to forgive myself if I lost you too. All these bruises on your body, Zinnia, I refuse to believe it’s just nothing. I refuse to believe everything is fine. It doesn’t matter if you are in a relationship, consensual non-consent is rape, Zinnia. Leave now, before it’s too late. I don’t want to lose you,”
This time, it was me who got teary-eyed. I have never had anyone worry for me like Alex did, and every passing day, she shows me more love than I ever thought possible. I didn’t want her to worry for me. These marks on my body are a result of the things Reed and I do, even though, I am unconscious for the most part. But I want it. I wanted every second of it, and I enjoyed it. Does that still count as rape?
Reed, despite his rough and cold exterior, I would like to believe has a heart of gold. True, killing people doesn’t really meet the qualities of having a kind heart, but I mean, he doesn’t kill for fun right? If he killed them, then they deserved it right?
At least, I’d like to believe that.
I leaned in, my hand still entangled in Alex’s and brushed my lips against her cheeks. As I pulled away, I freed one of my hands and dried her eyes.
“I love you, Alex. I do. I have never had this kind of affection you’re giving me. I promise you; that these marks aren’t what you think they are. Reed hasn’t done anything I haven’t asked him to. Everything that has happened between us has been consensual,”
Liar! Fucking on the plane wasn’t consensual. You asked him to stop.
I pushed those thoughts away from my mind. “He’s not the man you paint him to be,” I added.
‘You’re right, he’s way worse than that’ my subconscious counteracted and again, I tried to push those thoughts away.
Alex looked at me doubtfully, finding it hard to believe what I had just said. She sucked in a breath and released her hand from mine.
“I don’t know, something about him eeks me. He’s like, a major walking red flag,” she dried her eyes as she spoke.
A smile crept to my lips. “You’ve got to admit, I look pretty good in red. Plus, red screams party.” I finalised and Alex burst into a fit of laughter.
I really do love this girl.
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